Here are the 8 worst pieces of relationship advice

Here are the 8 worst pieces of relationship adviceHere are the 8 worst pieces of relationship adviceNo matter who you are, where you live or what you believe, theres one thing that unites all of us Earthlings complaining about relationships. Whether youre in one, looking for one, or have sworn the whole charade off, youve probably heard someterribleadvice from well-meaning friends.Here are ur least-favorite snippets ofrelationship wisdom- from outright lies to misleading half-truths.1. If You Fight, Youre More PassionateNo matter what platitudesyou might read on Instagram, frequent fights dont make your relationship passionate. They make your relationship unhealthy.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreLets make one thing clear first the occasional fight or argument doesnt mean your relationship is bad or doomed. Learning to discuss differences kindly and compassionately is key to a successful lebenslebensabschnittsgefhrteship. But disagreements that escalate to yelling, retaliation, and the silent treatment arent healthy.But we fight because we love each other, you or your partner might say. But frequent arguments arent loving - theyre damaging, especially if you have kids.Studies showthat children raised by parents who argue are more likely to have depression or other mental health issues. Show love by going to couples therapy together and learning to discuss your differences calmly.2. Happy Wife, Happy life.Not only is this saying wrong, its downright condescending. Theres nothing progressive or feminist about kowtowing to your wifes every desire because you think shell make life hell otherwise. Give the poor woman some creditBoth members of a relationship should be happy as often as possible. Yes, that often means compromise - sometimes husbands will watch the rom-com and wives go to the baseball game. (Or vice versa, because many husbands love rom-coms a nd many wives love baseball)Nothing builds resentment like frequently ignoring your own desires. Instead, both partners should aim to compromise whenever possible - and learn to deal with things they dislike.3. Never Go to Bed AngryThis advice is often given with good intentions.Fightscanfester overnight. Spending several restless hours furious at your partner is a sure-fire way to kickstart your next days bad mood. So if youcanresolve an argument before bed - without losing sleep - do so.But sometimes hashing it out requires several high-strung hours spent arguing and debating. The result two very cranky,sleep-deprived adultswho are more likely to get inanotherargument. A constant high-tension atmosphere isnt conducive to a loving relationship.Perhaps the revised saying should be Never go to bed angry - unless you really need to sleep.4. You Can Change Your PartnerEveryone has annoying habits. Some are minor - like nail biting or forgetting to wipe down the sink. Some are terr ible - like being an abusive jerk. Regardless of whether your partners problems are large or small, one thing remains consistent You cant change them.Movies make it look easy Girl meets boy, boy loves to party and lie, but through thepower of love(insert musical cue here), girl transforms boy into a quiet soul who adores knitting and cats. Spoiler alert this kind of externally motivated change rarely sticks.If your partners flaws are a dealbreaker, thats okay - but dedicating your life to changing them will only make both of you sad.5. Have a Baby Get Married It Will Fix EverythingIts shocking how common this belief is, considering its sheer implausibility. So often, couples struggling in their relationship seek out a Band-Aid, convinced taking the next step will unite them as a couple.You wont stop fighting once youre married. Buying a house wont ground your relationship. And if youre feeling disconnected,a baby will not magically spark the family feeling. Instead, youve added ne w stressors to an already difficult situation. Its not a spark - its a powder keg.Make sure your relationship is on solid ground before taking a big leap together. umgang new, stressful responsibilities is easier when your synched up as a team.6. Jealousy Means They Love YouThis platitude is a two-sided coin - because jealousy is an extremely normal emotion, especially in romantic relationships. Even the most noble and good-hearted of our species may feel aspark of jealousywhen their partner talks to a good-looking friend.Feeling envy isnt bad,per se. Whats bad is when jealousy transforms into control. If your partner treats you like property, thats not jealousy - thats possessiveness. Being in a romantic relationship shouldnt require giving up friendships or letting your partner track your phones location.7. Love is EnoughLove can give us courage. Love helps us face our fears. Love helps us persevere when want to hide.But love cant fix everything.You and your partner love each o ther deeply. Looking into their eyes makes your knees weak. Youve been known to frequently swoon. Thats great But the power of love has limitations. For example, if one of you wants kids and the other is diehard child-free, loving each other wont bridge the divide. If one of you plans to move to Europe and the other refuses to leave small-town Iowa, theres no love that can reconcile those competing desires.Breaking up with someone you adore is heart-wrenching. But if staying in your relationship means sacrificing your biggest life goals, it may be the best decision. Love is powerful, but its not omnipotent.8. A Good Relationship Doesnt Require WorkIf only Unfortunately, some of the greatest relationships require consistent effort. Even when things are going well, partners must focus on reaffirming their love, prioritizing their relationship and spending time together.And when things are difficult, relationships require even more work. Supporting a partner through an illness or the d eath of a loved one means putting their needs above your own - sometimes for weeks or months at a time.Love doesnt make sacrifices like that easy. Love means youre willing to do it - even when theyre hard.Therapy Provides the Best Advice for Healthy PartnershipsThere are no relationship shortcuts, but if youre looking for advice you could do worse thattalking to a licensed therapist. Theyre able to take an objective view and offer observations and suggestions that can make a profound impact on your understanding of your partner. Remember, if youre looking for relationship advice, steer clear of the terrible guidance aboveYou might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people